Research

My foot discomfort, which shuttles back and forth from serious to minor pain, now has me researching things like plantar fasciitis and Achilles tendonitis. They seem to be the closest descriptions to what I feel. I haven't been able to figure out though what the pain on top of my foot (well, closer to the sides actually, closer to the ankle) is.

Patrick keeps on chiding me to have it checked. As usual, I'm buying time, hoping it goes away soon.

Damn it. I so badly want to run tomorrow. I want to finish October strong, so that November is a silver month. And I want to clear my head to prepare myself for the next big push. Running should help. Damn, I want to run. I don't care if it's slow. I don't care if I'm last in the pack. I just want to run.

Tomorrow is my deadline. If I ain't ok yet, then doctor's clinic it is.

Funny how I've been scaring myself with thoughts that I won't be able to run anymore. Haha, as if I were an elite athlete. But the thought of never being able to experience the fullness of running scares me.

I should lose weight faster. This should ease up the discomfort I feel.

Maybe I should take swimming lessons already. Or make the learning-how-to-ride-a-bike thing work. And then get a bike. Haha. But then I go back to my ultimate dilemma of time and money.

I really need to fix this. Getting strong and fit I mean. So I can run more. I am already so envious of Toto and Manong doing their 3x a week training with the Milo clinic.

Haha. I am so rambling here.

I just want to be good enough to run again. Running here and now gives my heart hope. Like a lifesaver, I think it is the only one thing left that ties me back to my coach. I know, I know -- that's a very loose (bordering on stupid) connection to make. But that's how I feel. For my sanity's sake, I need to believe that things will get better someday.

Enough with the rambling. Time to go to bed. This won't let me have anywhere near 6 hours of sleep. And I will be dead tired in the afternoon.

Sana po talaga Lord, makatakbo ako bukas.